Mini random thoughts

I used to dream of living the big life - big man, big house, big car, big accounts

Reality brought me back to present circumstance

No need to slap me awake

Just plain awareness

That its just a big dream

Poem about Mary's car

Once upon a time

There was this car

That went everywhere that Mary went

It had no name but was known by the unique colour

This was Mary’s

And none other

One day

Sisi asked to take no name for a walk

Down the dry streets of Lagos

But Amina jumped in

And asked for a mile long

No name didn’t complain

Was quiet through the silent charade

After the mile long walk

No name gave up the ghost

Mary sat and cried and cried

And called Sisi a liar

Even though she knew no name had been sick awhile

Now everyone knows Mary’s sad story

Is it or not the real true story

About no name

The car Mary loved truly… 

emotions

emotions run deep,
 through crevices, gullies,high and low
 Snaking through thoughts , images, joys,pains
 Mills of words unspeakable grinding to the breeze of your heart. 

My heart's home in the valleys
 Hiding in the deepest caves,playing hide and seek
 Unwilling to be found,lost in the maze of criss crossed tunnels
Echoing sounds of forgotten steps
 Faint glimmer of light,
Hopeful, footsteps quicken breaking to a run
 Covered in grime and dirt. no longer running but falling...falling deeper deeper
 The wind whistles, wearing a dark coat
spilling miseries in my eyes
as drops fall to show emotions.

what happened last nite

unexpectedly our lips meet
taken by surprise but melting in your arms
taste as sweet as dark brandy on ice,
sugar and lime
don't stop my lips scream as i struggle to get away
emotions speaking foreign languages so fast
i feel brand new, born again no past..
bring on those lips mister
lemme teach em a thing or two.....
you seem to read my thoughts
those lips start humming through,nibbling on touching those nerves
boy! you killing me! i scream
as you dig deeper and deeper
twisting and touching
honey berry, sugar candy.....hmmm
your muscles rippling bursting through those sleeves
we definately left our brains at the door
as you gently unbutton my shirt.
i slowly withdraw to look in your eyes.
your stare slowly romances and undresses me, your caress controls
your voice carresses am in heaven.
then te alarm rings......

maybe i'll be lucky tonight
to hear your voice
husky,dark weaving those tales
i so want to beleive.

tonight might be the night
we hold hands
stare into each others eyes
oblivious of the stares.

stairs to heaven are back door
right next to the trash
that might stink so high
with all the dirt on you and i

their stares know the location
more of their opinion
of who but never of me
to poison you see...

maybe tonight
you'll be a grown ass man
maybe. ..come on!
tonight i'll be waiting...

Long time

Long time no see...
How body?
How the go de go?
My Sister!!! i never see road since oooo
Work no gree

Those are conversation samples between friends. well i have missed you guys, missed this forum especially the comments which are always written in disappearing ink...lol i just try to imagine the thoughts of people that read or glance through this blog. Sometimes i wonder what was i thinking when when i wrote ------whatever.

Workpace is slowing down, broke a heart in the process got a broken vehicle and bruise heart and ego, ran out of patience and right now seems am back to square 1. Back to the begining...

Well those are my thoughts at the moment....i wished i was fluid and lucid as ever can be...


Random musings to say am back and long time no write.....

Dear Jay Part 2

Its Presidential election day!! Hopefully things will change in Nigeria.
I sincerely hope they will change for the better..same way i hope we will become better people when we get together.

It pretty unfortunate that i can't vote, as the polling station is far from home. so i'm home alone with several books and lots of food. I enjoy cooking and well friends say am a good cook, i hope they are not just kidding but they always leave their plates empty. It would be nice to see you do same, I imagine you in shorts and a sweat shirt eating a delicious meal made by me and planting a wet kiss telling me how am the greatest cook after your mother. I can't compete with her especially if she's the number 1 woman in your life. I am patient enough to be the number 2.

If you are at a polling station, i know you will be voting for the right person. We definately would have quarrelled , argued about our politically ideas, choice, beliefs etc...hahaha...i wonder what would happen after such a hard long and maybe pationate argument...i wonder....i hope you are passionate about certain things..

My friend always talks about how he can afford the best designers,thanks to father,*rolling my eyes*, the countries he's been to, hotels he's stayed in and some other stupid crap that makes me want to pull out my hair. You look reasonable and i pray not vain because boy! am so out the door, i can't stand that in my man.

What i want is a confident, comfortable man. Who loves his family but does not depend on daddy's money. Believe's in God, works hard and plays hard. Fun is good, right one is good for you...sorry i meant us. The topper are looks, hmmmm hot chocolate, ready to be licked..okay okay am going to far with the visuals.
enjoy your day and somehow i wish you think of me.

xoxo

Dear Jay Part 1

Its been awhile I spoke with you Jay. Work has been kind of busy.
I saw you last sunday looking tired..hope you are doing okay. I sometimes wonder how long i'll have to wait for you. The wait sometimes takes it's toll but I just have to wait and be patient. I have a confession- went on a date last Saturday...it was almost a disaster. He compared in no way with you in looks and up there was rather vague.I hope when we are together we can talk about everything and anything...politics,music, astrology,technology,food etc.looking forward to learning a lot from you. My date had no plan for the future, and I wondered how he lived daily..I don't want someone who's living life by the day, can't be stuck in a rut or lifeless living.

I look forward to connecting with you on all levels especially spiritually, hope we share same spiritual values and beliefs.
Well gotta run now..will see you later xoxo luv u

I believe

Isaiah 46

Gods of Babylon

1 Bel bows down, Nebo stoops low;
their idols are borne by beasts of burden.[a]
The images that are carried about are burdensome,
a burden for the weary.
2 They stoop and bow down together;
unable to rescue the burden,
they themselves go off into captivity.
3 “Listen to me, you descendants of Jacob,
all the remnant of the people of Israel,
you whom I have upheld since your birth,
and have carried since you were born.
4 Even to your old age and gray hairs
I am he, I am he who will sustain you.
I have made you and I will carry you;
I will sustain you and I will rescue you.

5 “With whom will you compare me or count me equal?
To whom will you liken me that we may be compared?
6 Some pour out gold from their bags
and weigh out silver on the scales;
they hire a goldsmith to make it into a god,
and they bow down and worship it.
7 They lift it to their shoulders and carry it;
they set it up in its place, and there it stands.
From that spot it cannot move.
Even though someone cries out to it, it cannot answer;
it cannot save them from their troubles.

8 “Remember this, keep it in mind,
take it to heart, you rebels.
9 Remember the former things, those of long ago;
I am God, and there is no other;
I am God, and there is none like me.
10 I make known the end from the beginning,
from ancient times, what is still to come.
I say, ‘My purpose will stand,
and I will do all that I please.’

Secrets

can i tell you my secrets
and be safe
will you look me in the eye
and remain?

can i cry on those shoulders
can i just be me?
not the girl in the heels
made up to the t's

can you show me your frailty,
humanes,
and not be ashamed
or pained?

time will tell...
surely time,
hope,
love.

Tonight

Hey Jay!

Seems like you had a busy day
missed you some how i guess..
o well!
my day would have ended uber perfect
if i caught a glimspe of your face at least..

what would i say when we finally ever meet?
what would be the perfect first date?
do you like poetry?
questions fill my mind...
as i lie down
quiet sounds in the background
looking forward to some day hear you call me 'Baby'.
as i stare in your eyes

just let me be lost in them
where only you can find me.

Teach me,
i want to be taught.
to be fragile,
trust
and let go

I don't care if i fall
because am already in pieces...

Good night love....

To Jay

Dear Crush,
Maybe i should call you Jay,
you look like that kind of guy named Jay
cool, calm, handsome,....now am blushing.....
maybe you've caught a glimpse of my spying eyes
maybe not...
well i'll be lying if i say i don't care
but,
there are always buts right?
and the what ifs,
What if you have a lover
someone who has your heart like no other?
what if?

i'll rather bask in the euphoria
than spoil our silent relantionship.
am all getting lyrical
just thinking about your smile.
so good things can still happen
i didnt even have to look too far.

I'll call you my Muse; Jay.
and keep you in my perfect world.

Okay enough of my boring thoughts...
Hope you had a good day
Mine was beautiful.
grining from ear to ear all day
moving to the love rhythm
it felt strange to be me today....

i could go on and on but i guess i have to stop.
i'll drop you a line tomorrow
hope to dream of you.

Good night Jay
xoxo

Crush

First time i saw you
my heart stopped
as my gaze lingered on your silhoutte
'God help me' I said
as i meant to pray
but those simple , mysterious eyes made me wonder......
what it would be like in your arms

okay i should be praying
and i did
and hope to see you soon
xoxo

Pls visit

www.thegiftroom.wordpress.com

Soft sounds haunt me
Your voice as you call
Gently stroking
Muttering my name
mumbling naughty words
as we move in rhythm
but it was all a dream

Am awake
staring into your shut eyes
disappearing as I try to touch you
' Don't go' I pause
I hear an echo,empty,silence
Sliding past slowly, fading.....
'don't go' voice quivering
Heart pounding tears streaming
Struggling to wake up beside you

In my mind

I see you running
in my mind and dream
beautiful streaks of silver
as your feet touches the river
surreal unreal
as your breathe,
silent slow unreal
by my neck


splashes of liquid
run through my face
i am entwined by your lips
heart beats, rhythmic.
waves roll as our tongues meet
surely truly
exclusive emotions tears my chest
as i gaze in your eyes.

far away i see
lights
white
breaking dawn....
in my mind

i did it

i cancelled the engagement.

had so many doubts....

am so unhappy. things are just going wrong way.

FEARS

I and Bf are planning on being permanent fixtures and hope the deed will be December after postponing from January by 2 of us, we are such terrble planners...lol.

I should be excited right?

i am excited but scared stiff and wonder if i'm a good person, am i making the right choice, am I ready for this? will i make a good wife? although ex is 'happily married' but sometimes i wonder in the sight of God am i doing the right thing? my mind is most times at rest but once in a while i get these panic attacks and wonder. i haven't started planning, don't know who my Maid of honour will be, bridesmaids am clueless, gown is still a thing of thought. Men am clueless, my Mom and Sisters are just tired and they definatly will be the ones to pull / push me through. Infact i don't even know where to start, at least i've got wedding colours sha...trad will be white, wine and red/ pink colours while the white will be green, purple and pink or red i think.....okay i definately think that was the last combo i thought of with BF.

Highly unserious bride 2 be.

Did i mention we've been off and on for maybe 9 - 10 years? but together now for 2 years.

Dream gown............

Price: $3,600

I GOT IT!!!!!

Finally, i got my confirmation letter after all the drama from Ex bossman. Am so happy!!!

thanks y'all for the love.

work life is okay, while my personal/emotional life is hanging on a thin thread. Thought this was going to be THE year, but from the look of things.....well that's another story for another day. Better be single than make a second mistake.

Thots
xoxo(lol...original mgbeke)