FEARS

I and Bf are planning on being permanent fixtures and hope the deed will be December after postponing from January by 2 of us, we are such terrble planners...lol.

I should be excited right?

i am excited but scared stiff and wonder if i'm a good person, am i making the right choice, am I ready for this? will i make a good wife? although ex is 'happily married' but sometimes i wonder in the sight of God am i doing the right thing? my mind is most times at rest but once in a while i get these panic attacks and wonder. i haven't started planning, don't know who my Maid of honour will be, bridesmaids am clueless, gown is still a thing of thought. Men am clueless, my Mom and Sisters are just tired and they definatly will be the ones to pull / push me through. Infact i don't even know where to start, at least i've got wedding colours sha...trad will be white, wine and red/ pink colours while the white will be green, purple and pink or red i think.....okay i definately think that was the last combo i thought of with BF.

Highly unserious bride 2 be.

Did i mention we've been off and on for maybe 9 - 10 years? but together now for 2 years.