Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Thanksgiving

God has been wonderful and so good to me,
I thank him for my family, the character and
person they've made me to be.
God has blessed my parents and siblings
amazingly this year and i know its just the beginning.

Thank you especially for my elder Brother,
B, he's wonderful and the best.( I understand.)
Thank you Lord that you are remolding him to your desire.

I thank God for my friends, near and far.
I've been blessed with amazing friends.
friends that love me and support me in everything i do.

I thank God for my job and my colleagues.
I thank Him for my upcoming new job
and believe God for a new miracle as i move on.

Thank you for my health.

Thank you for having 2 wonderful neighbours!

Thank you for a roof over my head,
food in my fridge and clothes on my back.

Thank you for provision, every time and on time.

Thank you for the relationships that could never be.
You alone know the reasons and am sincerely Grateful.


Thank you for blog ville.


I thank God for the separation and ongoing dissolution.

for Strength, Faith, Perseverance.


Most of all, I thank God for His continuous Love, Mercy, Kindness,
forgiveness & Grace this past months.

If men where God, I'll be dead by now. Thank You Lord.

Am forever grateful and will continually Praise and Bless YOU.

Monday, November 19, 2007

Pieces........and RANTS

I wish I could stare into the skies and see the future,
Or breath in air and hear your thoughts,
Then I’ll be aware and know.



Lately, i have been hovering round depression, feeling like a failed state.
Where waking up in the morning is more like 'i have to' not because i wantto.
I think my big mouth and want for PERFECTION has put me in a deeper dilemma,
tango whatever.
Me and my big mouth, BIG dreams,
Big talk,Big IDEAS,big and PERFECT THINGS I ALWAYS DREAM OF
have put me in BIGGER DILEMMA,EXTRA THOUGHTS AND EXTRA PIMPLES!
yeah am tIED, tIRED, head Filled,
running on thoughts, thoughts and worries.
Am ranting, tired and want to close my eyes, relax, sleep.
maybe quarrel with someone, shout and let all the anger out.
Am ANgry, Vexed sorely.
I think i should dig a hole and SCREAM!! in it. 'loser'
be a drama Queen.
BE InCONsiderate, SelFISH,SelfCENTRED and all 'em self words I hOPE TO INclude Nasty
the conscious devil evil twin in 'em naija flicks.
waatevaaa


many Seconds later....
i don't feel better, i don't feel any better at all.
My PERFECT MIND expects RED ROSES and a Mushy CARD,
mushy Phone call, HEY MAYBE A MUSHY CHEQUE ! A MIRACLE aN eNGagement ring, maybe a PERFECT MAN! a perfect annulment
MIZ PERFECT!!!#^&@@^&*!


Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Dreaming on..... (Parts of my childhood) Part 2

Fill in the blank space
12. Yams grow on ………….

Branches
stem
root

Well if you asked my best friend in Junior Secondary the answer to that question she would have picked A, because she had never seen yam plant and that to me it was funny. Okay I have more than enough farm stories, stories like this are usually told by people who grew up in the village but me it was something I experienced in a major Nigerian city, well that’s what I call Benin.

My father worked with the ministry of agriculture and when I was still teeny weenie, (never out grew that teeny weenie stage I must confess) we had large farms in villages close to Benin. I spent a large part of my formative years in Benin. These farms where located in deep forest where you had to clear a part way to get to your destination. Farm days where every other Saturday which I looked forward to and my elder siblings never ever looked happy when my dad announces that the next Saturday was farm day.

In the morning we all will be dressed up in jeans, shirts etc totally covering the whole body and protective boots. Most times we never had a bath because of insects and other harmful things that might be attracted by the smell. The journey most times took up to an hour or 2. We all pile up in the car with my mom sitting in front. Lunch neatly packed in the booth and our cutlasses and hoes, bowls and other things needed for the journey. And at 6 am we are on our way to the farm.
I never understand how my father could find his way through the forest and arrive at our farm. It was just forest, with those large trees, lush green vegetation, crickets chirping sounds and that quiet stillness. Once my elder brother said he saw a monkey! As soon as we arrive work is shared, well very little as workers are already waiting for us. I guess my dad just brought us along to experience nature and learn new things. Soon we all get occupied in exploring with constant warning from my dad or the workers not to stray far. I always stayed with my mum I think, sometimes reading. Those where fun times. There where several farms and the last one was close to home. I even got inspired to start a garden but it was short lived because it entailed lots of work and our stupid neighbor’s dog sometimes made a mess of all my efforts. By 2pm we where on our way back, sharing tales of things we saw. We grew yams, cassava, melons, and corn. We even had a large yam barn at home that sometimes we where forced to sell part of our harvest in market! We sometimes made garri, (it was a tedious and interesting process), had a poultry farm with all kinds of birds, never went in though was and still scared of live chicken. Prefer them fried or barbecued on my plate. We had fun as a family and countless stories and experiences.

Guess my dad was just a village man inward and wanted his children to experience a part of it. Glad I have stories to thrill my children when they are older.

Okay! i know boring story….banging my head on the wall…searching……searching…

Thursday, November 1, 2007

Dreaming on..... (Parts of my childhood)

For now no more love writing for me, if I do please Blog Police should arrest me!!
I'll be writing more of a diary kind of thingy interspaced with a lil creative something (I think!) poem, writeup or verse. Don't get bored and leave your comments!

Parts of my childhood (Part 1)

I’ve always been a dreamer right from childhood, built this dream world around me where I was queen surrounded by her subjects. Maybe it was the influence of books that where scattered round me or the stories from my Parents and older siblings, about their experiences, hobbies, friends and aspirations.
I saw first hand where no dream, wrong dreams, late dream could get you. Had examples all around, still do.
I still dreamt on, some silly, outrageous and stupid and some that still burn a fire deep down in my heart. Looking back I realised that most of my dreams are still in dreamland, pushed far beyond by the hustle and bustle, quest for survival and higher earning power based on the pressures of the society and peers and largely determined by what the society interprete as success.

I remember when I was really young, maybe 7 – 8, I would sneak the keys to one of my elder sister’s room, lock myself in and curl up reading the then Quality and Classique magazine. She just moved in from Ibadan and buying and reading of magazines was her hobby and still is! So she had lots and lots of Nigerian and foreign mags. Classique was my favourite Nigerian Mag and MEE my best and favourite columnist,( she was also a writer, television hostess, had a charity foundation too. in my personal opinion, I guess would compare her writing with Carrie Bradshaw in Sex and the City without the sexual innuedoes)she was fantastic!
I saw Warri first through her eyes as she captured me with her simple writing that made me fall ih love with her. She was and still is my role model. Her collection of her columns in Quality Magazine and then Classique Magazine was like a bible that I read ever so often. I felt like family when reading about her life or any of the social issues of that period. her signature smile and side gapped tooth was a huge attraction for me and funny enough i have that same side gapped tooth!
Well it was with much sorrow when I heard she died, I was a member of the Press club in my secondary school and suggested her as our Guest in the Annual Press Club day. Unfortunately before we could write the letter we heard she had passed on, a fibroid operation that went wrong. I felt pained and hurt. I remember the Teacher in charge of Press Club consoling me.
She really made a huge impression on me literary and still does. Her writings were fluid, simple and captivating. So sad that she’s been forgotten by many people, if she had been alive maybe she would have been Nigeria’s Oprah Winfrey.I wonder what happened to her Sunshine Foundation and her pretty daughter and younger sister she so fondly wrote about in her columns. Maybe I’ll just google and find out more about them.

Those where the times I discovered African writers like Chinua Achebe, Flora Nwapa, Buchi Emecheta, Amos Tutuola, Wole Soyinka, Okot P’Bitek, Ngugi Wa Thiong , Mariama Ba, Ayi Kwei Armah, Efua Sutherlands,Ferdinard Oyono, Peter Abrahams, Ezekiel Mphalele, so many African authors, novels and books I can’t even remember. My favourite book then was ‘The African Child ‘ by Camara Laye, was captured by a lilttle boy's observation of his surroundings. there where some books I could barely understand at that young age and many filled me with fascination and interest.
I guess that was where my love for writing and words started, my elder brother was also an aspiring playwright at that time so there was a wide array of African dramas and poetry books when growing up. Then i wanted to be a poet, writer, never told anyone when asked about career choice. Felt it ashamed about it kind of i think. Everyone talked about being a doctor, lawyer, engineer and liltle Hopeful could never mention that to her family never! i wonder how i would have been chastised by my parents and family.
Funny how I and my best friend in Primary 4 , 5 would buy small jotters sold for I think a naira then and write up stories. We would challenge ourselves or brain storm a storyline or idea and develop it. i wonder if I can still find my short stories and poems written at such a young age. then I had a dream of becoming a poet and a writer to be reckoned and quoted. There was a lull in senior secondary school because I had to change schools and environment. That trait was forgotten till sometime in university. That was a link that I never understood even while I majored in English Language& Literature in University.


Have a Happy New Month.


(to be continued)