i did it

i cancelled the engagement.

had so many doubts....

am so unhappy. things are just going wrong way.

FEARS

I and Bf are planning on being permanent fixtures and hope the deed will be December after postponing from January by 2 of us, we are such terrble planners...lol.

I should be excited right?

i am excited but scared stiff and wonder if i'm a good person, am i making the right choice, am I ready for this? will i make a good wife? although ex is 'happily married' but sometimes i wonder in the sight of God am i doing the right thing? my mind is most times at rest but once in a while i get these panic attacks and wonder. i haven't started planning, don't know who my Maid of honour will be, bridesmaids am clueless, gown is still a thing of thought. Men am clueless, my Mom and Sisters are just tired and they definatly will be the ones to pull / push me through. Infact i don't even know where to start, at least i've got wedding colours sha...trad will be white, wine and red/ pink colours while the white will be green, purple and pink or red i think.....okay i definately think that was the last combo i thought of with BF.

Highly unserious bride 2 be.

Did i mention we've been off and on for maybe 9 - 10 years? but together now for 2 years.

Dream gown............

Price: $3,600

I GOT IT!!!!!

Finally, i got my confirmation letter after all the drama from Ex bossman. Am so happy!!!

thanks y'all for the love.

work life is okay, while my personal/emotional life is hanging on a thin thread. Thought this was going to be THE year, but from the look of things.....well that's another story for another day. Better be single than make a second mistake.

Thots
xoxo(lol...original mgbeke)

Just fine, just fine just fineeeeeeeeeeeee

Had enough of my pity party, feeling just great!

"Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit." Romans 15:13.

1 Peter 1:3 - “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ who according to His abundant mercy has begotten us again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead …”

I have to act and believe in the hope and faith i have in Christ Jesus so i'll keep you all posted on the big testimony soonest.

An ex is getting married in 2weeks and i feel kinda'one kind', although breakup was done amicably and with understanding of certain relationship detrimental issues. We've grown through the times to become great friends. i keep wondering why i feel d way i feel. i know i won't be attending, i feel like blunting my feelings... oops! reasons out to him. Well i know he might soon stumble on this blog soon. o well! I wish him d best in his married life.

Keeping Faith

Its been a struggle, a point where all that binds me and keeps me sane is prayer,faith and hope. I wonder why times like this occur and occur regularly to me.Many times i've thought of just going home and giving it all up, dreams aspirations cos i've been fighting for too long, and sometimes need rest, rest of mind, rest in my body etc.
I just keep keeping on and holding on and at the end i'll testify of God's goodness and mercy towards me.

Thanks guys for all your support and help.
Thanks a lot sol.I'll still keep writing and sharing.

Longg Time

Hello been a long while and things are still same, no feedback from ex boss, and HR are kinda dragging their feet. Well......i'm just depressed and blue.

Miss you guys and wish you all a great weekday.





This couple made me cry, they are so lovely and the pictures are so beautiful.. here